"I'm gonna walk the Earth.... You know, like Caine in 'Kung Fu'" There have been a lot of times in my life that I was just fed up with everything and wanted to pack my bags and walk out on whatever life I've had in the past. I've always thought of backup plans that I can follow in case all that is in my life turns to shit for whatever reason, like moving out to the west coast and becoming a priest or reverend, or whatever sort of thing like that requires absolutely no faith, experience, or credibility. I've always liked the idea of just being a wanderer of some sort. Unfortunately, this modern age doesn't allow much for wandering samaritans of any sort. Help the wrong people, your ass is going to get shot. Not to mention the lack of food or shelter that comes from being a wanderer. But, to some extent, I really do like helping people, and I want to do whatever I can to have a positive impact on the lives of others. And here lies the dilemma. Three factors...
1) I try to not care what other people think, as I don't think there is really anyway to be happy except by making peace with oneself. But part of making peace with myself is by trying have a purpose and a place in the world, be it by helping other people in some significant way, or to create my own place, purpose, and happiness.
2) When Kevin Spacey accepted his Oscar for American Beauty, he said (in part) "Thank You! To my friends for pointing out my worst qualities, I know you do it because you love me." Now, since I've heard that speech, that has inspired one of my core beliefs- that honesty is always the most important factor amongst friends, and even with people you barely know. I always try to be honest with my friends, and I always demand nothing less than absolute honesty from my friends, even if I am incredibly wrong (but hellbent on thinking I am right). If anyone ever thinks I am wrong, I really appreciate it when they tell me what they think is wrong, and why it is wrong. Basically, I want my beliefs and statements to be challenged.
3) I detest shallowness and superficiality. There are a plethora of illogical and unnecesary social standards that really, really, piss me off to no end. And I want to make people see all the stupid things for what they really are.
So, I want to be absolutely honest with myself and others, I want to ignore illogical social notions, and I want to find my place in the world. One thing that has always made me happy is helping others, but not in a 'hold the door open' or 'lend money' sort of way. I want to help people in more significant way, and that way is by being honest and giving some sort of unqiue and worthwhile advice to them.
I'm gonna do like Jules from Pulp Fiction."I'm gonna walk the Earth... You know, like Caine in 'Kung Fu'". But not in such a drastic way. I'm gonna do it LiveJournal style. One long journey through the seemingly infinite depths of LiveJournal, helping other people with my own brand of patently wretched advice, whether they really need the help or not. Whenever somebody posts to LiveJournal, they are, at least a little bit, an exhibitionist. All throwdowns, complaints, and story are open domain, and if people don't want to hear what other people think, well then they'd remove the option to post comments. Everything is fair ground, and I am gonna do like Caine and wander from post to post, helping people. But how can one really randomly wander digitally? Well, here is the game plan, with the assistance of a
Random Number Generator from the fine dorks at www.random.org
1) When you visit a LJ user's profile, it tells you they have X friends, and lists them. So, role an X sided die, count through that number of friends, and go to that persons journal.
2) Read through as many posts as you want, and help the person, whether they ask for help or not.
3) Once advice has been dispensed, or if there is nothing to give any sort of help on, then look at that user's profile and use method 1 to find a new person to help.
Repeat ad infinum, until the meaning of life has been found!
I'm predicting within 3 or 4 tries, I will be almost completely out of the range of people that I know. I hope to chronicle all of my adventures, and the path that I follow, along with comments, in this Journal. Much like Caine from Kung Fu, I hope to wander around helping those that need help, and each time moving on to new experiences, opening my eyes to how different social groups work.
Now, there is a bit of fucked up motivation going on with all of this. I've tried in the past to do what everyone else wanted me to do, to try to be happy by being what others wanted me to be. Each time it failed miserably, but I'm still not at the point where I've become completely apathetic towards others (although I am getting there.) I have lots of painful memories, and a lot of "I can't believe I did that" sort of feeling that constantly gets me down. Well, just trying to prevent that sort of scenario won't do shit, as there will always be stuff in my life and how I think others view me to bring me down. So, I just need to build up a callous against that sort of crap, so that is what I hope this will do. Repeated acts of social apathy, in the hope that I will finally make peace with myself.
(Help is not the only goal, though. I hope to enlighten myself or others, or to just make a good point, or learn something great. Traditional 'help' or 'advice' are not the only things that I'm in this for.)
So, everytime you feel out of place or you have no purpose, just remember "I'm gonna walk the Earth... You know, like Caine, from 'Kung Fu'". If you can actually pack your bags and leave, well then, that is fucking outstanding. And if you can't, enter the infinite void of the internet. There are plenty of people that need help. Or just a lot of people that don't need help but you want to push your will onto them anyways.
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